CONVERSATIONS WITH VAN DAMME - Part 2
The Best Script Ever Written!
(For the reader, I wrote a movie that JCVD starred in called POUND OF FLESH. I’ve also written a few other projects for him that have yet to be made, so I’ve got a ton of voicemail and video messages from him, in addition to occasional phone calls out of the blue. It’s a surreal experience to have a guy you once had posters of decorating your college dorm room call you. But that’s the biz. JC is a unique, eccentric man. Conversations with him cannot truly be described, only experienced. What follows may have or have not happened, per se, but it is true to the spirit of JCVD interactions.)
Phone rings. Eight in the morning. It’s JCVD.
JCVD: Joshua! How are you, my friend, how are you!
ME: I’m good, JC, I’m good, how are you?
JCVD: I am (kisses his fingers, gives mmm-pop) beautiful, Joshua, beautiful! IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY. Do you know why?
ME: Why?
JCVD: Because I read your script!
ME: You did? You read (REDACTED)*?
JCVD: No, no, not that one, not yet, I read the one with the guy, the character we talked about, his life is all fucked up and-
ME: Oh, you mean (REDACTED)**?
JCVD: No, no, not yet, the other one, with the (REDACTED) who then has to (REDACTED)***, that one, what was that called again?
ME: Oh! You read (REDACTED)? Really?
JCVD: Yes, yes, (REDACTED) that was the title, yes, great title. Very memorable. So yes, I started reading it, and I must tell you, Joshua, I must tell you something very important.
ME: What’s that?
JCVD: This is the best script ever written.
ME: Wow? Really?
JCVD: I am serious, Joshua, I promise you. When you first told me your idea for (REDACTED), I must say, I was not convinced it could work, but now that I started reading, you really made this work. It’s both homage to (REDACTED) and goes even further than that movie, Joshua, this is the film I want to end my career on, I’m telling you. I was shaking while reading. Shaking, Joshua, with the excitement!
ME: Wow, I don’t know what to say.
JCVD: We are going to MAKE THIS MOVIE,**** Joshua, I promise you. I am going to call (REDACTED) to direct, we’ll get (REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED) as my co-stars, this will be the best martial arts movie EVER MADE!
ME: Whoa. You really think (REDACTED) would consider (REDACTED)?
JCVD: Trust me, (REDACTED) has always wanted to work with me. Tomorrow, I will call (REDACTED) and (REDACTED), and we will make this movie. This will be another BLOODSPORT but bigger, better, with more excitement, more fights, more drama and it will win awards, every award there is, it will win it. I promise you. I have to call (REDACTED) and send him the script tomorrow, probably.
ME: Okay, should I call my reps—
JCVD: No, no, they always come in and fuck everything up. Wait until I send it to (REDACTED) tomorrow. It has to be tomorrow because I haven’t yet finished the script. I started reading it and had to call you before I even got to the end. Let me finish the script tonight, call you again, then I call him tomorrow and send script, then we plan to make this movie this year. This year, Joshua, this year!
ME: Okay, yeah, finish the script, of course, then we can talk.
JCVD: It’s already the best script ever written, and I am not even at the end yet!
ME: (laughing) I guess that’s a win for me. How far are you?
JCVD: Pretty far, let’s see… uh, I am on… Page 12.
*Titles redacted because I don’t own them, JC does.
**This often happened, as I’ve written a few projects for JCVD, in fact, sometimes we’d spend a long time on the phone, and he’d be giving me notes for a script, only to discover at the end he meant an entirely different script I’d written for him.
***In addition to the titles, I’d often be required to sign an NDA, which means specific details to each script must also be non-disclosed.
****This was a few years ago, and as of yet, this film has yet to be made. But he did, in fact, finish reading it and professed his love for the ending, too. He even did some of his character’s speeches to me over the phone, which was as awesome as it sounds. But he moved on to other things after awhile, which is another story for another day.